Tuesday, March 19, 2013

~ Same Wig , Different Way ~

With the longest, most oval head in the history of my family and friends, I pride myself in the range of hair-dos that suit me. From an Afro to Dreadlocks to straight weaves to curly weaves to side part so center part to bangs! Bring it on and I'd rock it.

Imagine my shock then when I got shipped my wig with bangs and didn't like the bangs look anymore. I guess with Natural hair I always put on weaves with bangs when my hair was short because there was no logical way to make it work. I'm not particularly a fan of the random side closure sans bangs. To be fair my hair stylist made this wig in my absence and cut the bangs a little too short and you know with bangs it's a hit or miss!

The first day I wore the wig, I threw on a hat, which made it look better but I felt like a clown. One of my friends said I was ON my Nicki Minaj. But I felt choked, like my entire face was being swallowed. Instead of studying at the library, all day, I looked for videos on Youtube on how to make short bangs work. Nothing was helping. I got to my room semi-defeated that I'd have to rock this wig another couple of days and then find someone to put in a weave on the weekend. Then Eureka! It hit me. My hair is NOW long enough, how about I make it an extension of the bangs. Yea....that didn't work. So in playing around, I swept the bangs the side, pulled the wig further backwards on my head and curled my hair OVER the bangs and Voila! The wig was transformed. In my tiny room , I promise I did every dance known to man.



So I thought I'd share because, there's nothing as frustrating as something almost being perfect. Looks like a weave will have to wait! I'll be rocking this wig for a couple of weeks and taking care of my naps underneath!

All this advise I'm giving lately, someone give me a column... "Ask Lady Ij" lol...

Peace, Love and Wig Styling!

Yours Truantly,

Sunday, March 3, 2013

5 Ways to Stop Being a Hater

I watched Toke Makinwa's Vlog posted to Bella Naija last week '5 Ways To Spot a Hater' and I couldn't help feeling like so-called 'haters' are the victims in this situation. Before you get antsy, let me explain. For the longest time, I was always annoyed about celebrities and non-celebrities addressing this elusive 'hater'. No one hates you, I'd say and skip to the next tweet, video or blog.

But then I realised there's a little bit of hater in all of us. But the 'Haters' are the unfortunate ones who let the negativity consume them. Haters aren't evil,  they are Victims of Circumstance. I was once a hater, I'll admit it! if you've never been a hater, then you're probably in denial. Hating is what pushes an opinion to a critique, disapproval to slander and disagreement to a grudge. I'll let those of you who want to stop hating in on what changed me from being a hater. If you're looking for a 'believe in your self' type of post. This is not for you, I'm being practical. So this post is for the Haters who don't want to hate anymore.

1. Say the Opposite of What You're Thinking
There's nothing more annoying than hearing people say 'Hold your tongue' because it is unrealistic. We can NOT fight the urge to speak. But here's what we can manage, what we actually SAY. In the natural Hater-ation process, if we see a girl's dress first think we think is 'Her dress is too tight. See her folds bulging' Instead, I'd say, 'I like that shade of Green...Wow. Really nice' This way you haven't lied but you haven't hated! Boom!

2. Compliment the most random things
Sometimes, there isn't always the most outrightly obvious thing to compliment someone on. But remember we're working to STOP being Haters! So find something. A ring, a belt, earrings, LIPSTICK. Lipstick has to be the easiest. And use Extreme pronouns, 'Gorgeous Lipstick, Mac?'. The sad thing is, in Nigeria, you cannot to do this a total stranger without being accused of 'Famzing', so please, I'm not advising that. Let's not ditch one label, Only to get another.

3. Counteract your 'hater' friend
 There's always THAT person in the crew who's handy with the disses. Most times, that's what why we end up being haters. Birds of the same feather never mattered as much as in this case. You keep listening to the same thing over and over, you're going to start thinking it. This move is exploitative because we're leveraging off a Hater friend, But All's fair in Love and Hate. So let's USE the Hating friend and for every negative she says about something/someone, we say a positive. In no time, we'll become the Devil's Advocate for Anti-Hating. Amen to that!

4. Look for the Positive in your object of Hate
I believe this is the DEEPEST and strongest form of Hating. When there is the ONE person you just always have negative thoughts and actions about. Especially when this person is an acquaintance and you are surrounded by her. You read her tweets, See her Pictures on Instagramm, There is NO escape. I advice getting around this by looking for the positive. This is sort of like 'Compliment the most random things' rule but the struggle is internal. Don't say it to her. Say it to yourself! ALOUD! Think it, Breathe it, Live it! This is probably the hardest hating bridge to cross but once you get to the other side, the scales will fall and you'll realise you've been blinded to how nice/beautiful this person actually is.

5. Hide how you truly feel
I can go on and on with the rules but the truth is, it's hard to stop hating. It's a Domino effect once you start, you can't just STOP Hating. The ball has to be set in motion and we guide in down the Hating Hill. So till it gets down, don't let anyone know you're hating. HIDE how you truly feel. People  can only know our feelings based on what we let out. So we'll keep our perfectly pouted lips talking about something entirely different if we have nothing good to say about someone/something. Very evasive manoeuvre but who's keeping score.

Up to our usual antics!

There you go! Now go into the world and STOP Hating. Lose your Label! You can do it...I'm a Survivor. You can be one too. Thank Me later or Thank me Now!

Yours Truantly,

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Guess Who came to Town??

Le Twin!

Ifie was over last weekend. Her first time in Dundee while I've been to Aberdeen twice. Yup! I'm winning. Her room is like a match box and when she came here, she almost wanted to switch schools (I exaggerate, I know). She said I was at a 'resort' while she was in 'prison'. The most hilarious... And Dundee is really modern compared to Vintage Aberdeen. Yes, a lot of Nigerians in Aberdeen and Dundee but apparently Somehow that weekend, there was a Flava (Afrobeat) Night at our Student Union. Nigerian MUSIC!!! Yes, Wizkid's Samba....I was in Music Heaven Woop!

Amidst the loud music, Ifie yelled, "ijay, It feels like I'm in Play. This feels like Abuja." I can't argue with her. I was so proud of Dundee. In the words of my friends 'Dundee came ALIVE'. As I pride myself on trying a new reclusive personality, I realised I failed miserably. I know my fair share of people here. It certainly helped that I came in with a new face, Light-Skinned girl with Green Eyes RED Lipstick, the Nigerian Man's dream.

Things are definitely looking up, and my back is finally not aching anymore from all the dancing. I must have done Azonto, Kokoma and Antenna to every single song.

Ifie came in her Aberdeen sweatshirt so I ran and bought a Dundee one...It's always a light-hearted battle for us. #TeamDundee VS #TeamAberdeen

And we got matching rings for Valentine's. Yes a couple of weeks late. Judge NOT!
We've totally embraced that our styles are completely different. Well that and Ifie refused to let me wear the same dress. She goes "Why? Are we twins?" Umm.. Someone please Send her the memo!
I'm such a different person here. So people who only know me from class couldn't hide their surprise. If only they knew. One said to me, "Ijay, Na you dance pass that day" .... haha! They ain't see nothing. But I wont show them. *shrug*

Yours Truantly,

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

"The Creative Winds of Destruction"

At this stage in my life I have an idea of where I want to be. May not know the exact office and desk but what industry I want to be in and in what capacity.

My fear with my career ambition is whether or not it will curb my ability to express my creativity in other aspects of my life. Since 2011, being out of school, I didn't think too much about the determined Ijay. But now I'm back, there's so much I want to do professionally and thoughts about other things lie in the back burner.

I know I'm not the only person struggling to reconcile the different 'whats' that I love to do. That's why we have people with 9 to 5 jobs doing otherwise. And let's be honest, a 9 to 5 job in Nigeria will hardly give the lifestyle you want. Well the lifestyle I want. So we're getting creative, opening fashion houses, blogging, illustrating, cupcakery, event planing. Making a living from different things. That's why it annoys me each time I read the typical Nigerian commenters' phrase "Everybody now wants to be ...." So what if everyone wants to try their hand at something others are already working on. Maybe, just maybe they can do better.

That's why I'm so impressed by the Youth Awards I see featured on Bella Naija and the likes, where bloggers and TV and Radio personalities speak.

I feel like we are a part of a generation so liberated and boundless that we want to fly not even run with all our amazing ideas. Someone told me that once when your attention is divided; no one of your ventures has your 100% commitment. Mathematically, it makes sense. But maybe just maybe we are capable of multi-tasking to the point that we can do all things we want to. And maybe 100% is not what each of them need to succeed better than others in our field. Maybe my 60% is equivalent to someone else's 100%.

Maybe we need to say to ourselves, "I can, but SHOULD I?"

Maybe it's wishful thinking.

Maybe I'll only be one thing.

Maybe our generation will change the face of the labor force.

Maybe we'll do too much at a time and our industries will be saturated with sub-standard companies.

Maybe, just Maybe we are riding our very own Creative Winds to the point of Our Destruction

Yours Truantly, 

Thursday, February 7, 2013

~ Few Good Moves ~

Live in the moment
But know it will not last
And when the scales fall
Your future will meet your past
~ Ijay

I made a lot of bad decisions in 2012, from small ones to big ones. But the thing about mistakes is to learn from them. I'm making brand new good decisions this year. Making major life changes in the little and big things. I'm my very own Picasso, painting my OWN self-portrait. One of these decisions is the common sense to wear a hat. I'm sure everyone thinks it's trend....*looks away* Sadly, now some of them will know the truth. With my weave, my hair is out in the side part and with this unpredictable Dundee weather, when I leave home, my hair is straight and blending with the weave but once I return I have an afro. The ugly bit is the fact that the weave is still wavy and curled but there's a bunched up MESS is the part. Horrible.  Not a good look for a *ahem* Master's Student. So in the spirit of good decisions, I almost always wear hat to hide the texture variation. In one hour in Dundee, it's wamr and bright, rainy, then snowing and then hail starts to attack. My Naps canNOT deal and I will not subject her to this torture.

Yes I went into the store and bought every colour of hat I saw. I love the French Look!
Not sure when I'll be ready to rock my fro. Maybe when the weather isn't PMS-ing!

Le Twin is now in Aberdeen and since the train passes almost right by my room, let's just say NOTHING can keep us apart. LOOOL! Yes it is the first time we are not in the same city for a period longer than 3 months (My exchange in 2009)
Peace, Love and Success!
Yours Truantly,