::: Love Theories :::

Ok Maybe "Love" is a Strong word, but you get the point. I'm not a love doctor and I offer no advice to my friends in terms of emotional dealings because I feel like you have to be an insider to know how to act or react. And since a relationship is between two people, you are always an outsider. What I did is come up with love theories ie relationship theories and I want to hear what pple think about it and which theory their love-life/relationships fall into.

Barter Theory
You find someone who has what you want {characteristics} and wants what you have {to offer}

Needs Theory
You find someone you need for different reasons. Potential problem is when you stop needing this person, you stop loving him/her.

Pressure Theory
You find someone who you've know for a long time and everyone says you'll be a prefect couple and eventually you grow to love the person

Image Theory
You find someone who you think looks good beside you and jump into a relationship HINT: Kanye West and Amber Rose =D

Physical Theory
You find someone who you find physically attractive and you both have chemistry and you enter into a relationship

Fate Theory
You find someone who you keep meeting at different points in your life. Always there when you need someone, you go ahead because to you, it's "fate"

What's your ideal theory? Rank from First to last?

No matter what, remember the Biblical teaching on love

"Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful"

1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Have a fabulous weekend. TGIF tomorrow~

::: Living A Lie :::

Blog fam!
I'm back and getting skinnier by the day! Yes! If you didn't know, I'm on a personal mission to disappear. No, I am not. Well, not really. Thing is, I'm trying to break into a nice figure. I am petite in my lower half so the only way to achieve this is by making my waist disappear. LOL who said hourglasses can't be mini?
It's been a fun month away. But there's no time to share holiday details. Let me get right down to business

Break out of the box! Be different! Be unique!

As far as I'm concerned, these three are recipes for disaster. I preach "Be you, Do you". What's the difference?
The words "unique" and "different" already tell an individual that to express himself/herself, he/she has to deviate from the norm. Is that a criteria for being you? I think not. What happens when the "YOU" you want to express is an ordinary girl who wants to go to class and take notes and then eat fries for lunch and maybe even go to the movies instead of partying. What if the real "YOU" doesn't have a "style"? What if the "YOU" just throws on clothes and sees it as such, clothes. Then again what if the "YOU" sees dressing up as an ART, a RITUAL? What if expressing yourself means being NORMAL?

It may seem really random, but I increasingly observe that people are under the impression that to express yourself, you cannot be like anyone else. Truth is no matter what rare mix of traits and behaviours you think you possess. Somewhere in the world, there is an individual that is the exact same. My message is, stop trying to be different to get noticed; stop trying to break out of the box to create illusions of who you are. Be the "YOU" that you really want to be.Throw caution to the wind and be normal if you have to be. Because normal is really special and actually pretty rare. Besides the "unique" pool is getting crowded. I tweeted a some time ago
"In a quest to become different,everyone ends up being the same"


What I mean  is that you try to break the rules to be different but others who are trying to be different, break the rules as well, so instead of being different, you form another homogeneous group on the flip side of things.

MESSAGE: "Love and Live the "YOU" you are"

It's back to snow and good bye to sunlight.So this picture is just to warm my heart...sigh

***On Last Days***

It's my last day in Lancaster, my last day on exchange, my last day of solitude...it was my friends' last day exactly 4 years ago. All 60 of them...Last day to see their friends, last day flying in a plane. Last day to live.

10-12 Happy Birthday Angels

My last day in Lancaster was DISGUSTING. I started to ask myself what I was doing here. Why did I come here? All of a sudden I wanted to be surrounded by my Ottawa family. People who care, and wonder why I'm quiet even when i'm just pausing to take a breath.  Solitude may be peaceful and calming, but it sure as heck is LONELY. The day began...

I missed my 9am alarm and woke up at 11am; frantic and panicky because I had an exam at 2 and two papers two hand. After working on my papers 3 weeks earlier, I submitted them 15minutes late and I lose 10% off each of them. For the first time in  years, my eyes were brimming, I was on the verge of tears. Upset and angry at myself for missing my alarm, for not showering faster, for not eating quicker, for walking instead of running for not planning the night before. Then I remembered it was December 10th and I closed my eyes, put my hands together, bowed my head and pray to God through my Angel. My personal Angel, Hadiza, my baby, and I congratulated her on her 4th Angel birthday because I know that's what her job is now.
In minutes I felt better. NO time didn't rewind for me to submit my papers early and I still had an exam in an hour. But my heart was warmed up and my image in the mirror brightened and my lips drew out into a smile.
My renewal was internal.

Do you believe in Angels? I do. And I know my baby is an Angel and she made me happy today. Sometimes I dedicate steps in my life to her, achievements., good grades. I remember her all the time and I smile because she was the cutest little baby ever. I love you Hadiza and keep watching over us our other 59 Angels.
"To live in the hearts of those you love, is not to die"

Death is pain, it takes away; but Hope gives back...Life - Ijeoma Madueke

Old picture...Just reminded me of Angels...
x!

***UGLY***

...the second most hurtful word you can say to a person...The first is "hate". But to an extent I think, "You are Ugly" is more hateful than saying "I hate you" If that makes any sense. The former attacks the very self that the person stands for; and you injured that. Too many times we laugh with people, we know them, about other people. "Dissing" the "mole on her face", "the pimples on his face", "her big nose", "his big lips" or just trash-talking their physique. I know I've laughed, because when a funny person says it, it's so hialrious I get stitches. But when I reflect on it, I'm repulsed. By ME.

Most of us are very unaware that people feel "bad" about themselves, they don't feel good enough. So as insensitive as we are, we make spectacles of them, obviously in their absence, but we all know it's a fact "walls have ears". I plead guilty for laughing at people, not thinking that I'm better than them, but just because everyone is having a laugh. If you're innocent, cast a stone. If you aren't, keep the stone and let's turn it into a diamond.

Recently, maybe because of my blog, I compliment people much more. It is truly alarming to witness people's reactions to a simple compliment; they light up {literally}! And I love it. Bastille of Beauty is no longer just a blog, it is a mission... A mission to build up the self-esteem of women who do not feel beautiful;  or feel inadequate. A mission I intend to spread. I once had as a Twitter update

"If she says you're ugly, tell her you're only a reflection  of her ugly heart"

I stick by this and use it as a reminder that each time I laugh at a joke that suggests/insinuates that a person is ugly, I am even uglier because it's from within. This is a call to be more conscious of the self-perception of people around you. And I'm not referring to fashion faux-pas. By all means, laugh at that if you wish. But a Person is a CREATION and we know how much of a perfectionist God is. A creation is like a piece of Art, that you don't understand it, doesn't make it any less remarkable.

On a lighter note, my exchange is done in exactly a week...I'll give an update on that. But I have two words to describe it... "worth it". Kisses Blog fam and have a BEAUTIFUL weekend #TGIF tomorrow.
p.s. I've been bitten by CC's multiple pictures bug... Ouch! teehee!
~x~

Fear Is Stupid... So Are Regrets

"We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets." 
     -Marilyn Monroe
I'm starting to realize that as scandalous as she was, Marilyn Monroe was a pretty insightful woman. Her quotes have the wheels in my head spinning but this one made it spin so fast, I just had to right on it.


Fear Is Stupid...
This is a fact but come on... I'm human...And I'm scared of everything
1. I'm scared of flying, {Whether in Business or Economy Class}
2.I'm scared of the London Underground Tubes {Admit it! The noise is heart-wrenching and when it stops randomnly in a dark spot I'm like uh oh! + someone needs to oil those trains}
3.I'm scared of heart breaks... {I've never had one but I hear it's like death and your heart feels like it's going to explode [ok a little dramatic]}
4.I'm scared of bad weaves {It kills me when I go in and come out and the weave looks a little too backward and elongates my receeding hairline #notgood}
5.I'm scared of being misread/misunderstood {I'm always explaining why I do things because I hate misinformation or mixes in transmission...I want the message I send to be the one that is received}
6.I'm scared of the ocean { As beautiful as it is, it's deadly and filled with all sorts of...things?}
7.I'm scared of secrets { If I could ask for a gift, it would be mind-reading like Edward Cullen [I hear the gasps already], I like to know what's in everyone's mind...what's in that bb message, what's in that text, what's in that phone call...but I don't want to share mine [pretty selfish]}


...So Are Regrets
Now this is a lie!...Well not completely
1. When I was 8, I attempted ironing a crinkled 10 naira note. I ended up ironing my stomach and the mark is there today to remind me not to do that, ever. {Do I regret that? Yes! And I will not do it again}
2. When I was 13/14, I was somewhat of a hottie! And I broke a couples of hearts {Shh! Don't say I was too young...Because lessons from then are adapted into my "now". So I regretted that and I've learned from it}
3.When I was 17, I spent a very small fraction of my tuition buying christmas presents. {It was for a good cause but not a wise decision// This, I don't even regret.}
4.When I was 19, I lied to someone, was caught and had to beg for a bit {Yeah, it was one of those times. I do regret and will not be repeating}
5.Now I'm 20 and I decided to go on an exchange, it's an experience I do not regret. It's teaching me things, about myself, about others and about life in general. Things I can talk about and things I can't.


My point is it is ok to have regrets, Just don't dwell on them for long. Use them as a frame of reference to stepping up and stepping out. And as for fear, I am afraid...of dying; and I feel like that's where all other phobias stem from. But I am demystifying death and thinking on my faith and God. I just keep wondering if I would ever re-meet the wonderful people I have in another life. I guess that's it!


p.s. I'm not having a down day! I'm actually pretty happy because my mum arrives tomorrow, yes! But you're my fam and it's all about sharing me..RIGHT?

p.p.s. witness my style::: I attribute it to the discovery of myself {and umm the warmth of England!}

Before you die, I was wearing sheer tights haha! That`s why it looks like that`s my skin... *wink*! Be good peoples!
x!