The Young and Restless

 It’s MARCH! March?? I can’t believe how time is ‘MARCHing’ by. Haha. Had to do that. Couldn’t resist. I can’t believe how time is flying though and yes you guessed it, I enjoy my work ridiculously. With all its woes, CBN is such a blessing to me.

I can’t imagine that I ever thought I’d be bored here. Boy, was I wrong? Work is hectic and studying for the GMAT alongside? DEATH! But we’re pushing on and hoping for the best. It got so bad though that I sat with my dad and was complaining, wishing we had a few more hours in the day. Who is 24 hours enough for?

He threw his head back and said that about 40 or so years ago he said to his dad (obviously in Igbo) “Dad, You know you are good friends with God and he’ll give you anything you want. Please can you ask him for just one more hour in the day?” HAHAHAHA! I fainted! That’s so amazing. I’m a generation after and asking the same. If my child asks me the same question in future Heaven knows, I’ll be the happiest mum ever.

On the note of generation, I went to visit my baby sister at Loyola (on parental duties) and was telling her about how we used to ‘customize’ Butterfly and Flex. She gave me the blankest stare of life. I swear the stare was so blank, I thought life left her!

She had no idea what Butterfly was! I’ve never felt so old in my life. My hair turn ‘Storm’ in Xmen grey! Of course when I asked her to “Doggie” and “Jerk” and “Crank that” and “Stanky Leg” she’d do it in a second. I was too scared to ask her about the Electric Slide!

Isn’t it amazing how things differ so must across generations and some other things are just the same? Life is amazing, May we all Live and Love Hard!

In the pictures below, I'm at loyola my former Secondary School and my sister's current. school! So gorgeous and GREEN!

I think I'm off this high bun though. There was a mad prevalence of it at the Arise Magazine Fashion Week Event and I don't feel special anymore! What amazing pictures though. So sad I couldn't go. But I've been so busy lately. Congrats to all designers who featured! Fashion in Africa is on the rise. Like the Loza Maleombho piping on their pieces. Amazing!  The world is NOT ready for us.

Yours Truantly,
IJ

~ Mundane Mondays ~

So, today,  I went down to the CBN Canteen to grab my usual Morning Coffee (Bad for me, I know. It's a habit from my Canada days that I cannot seem to shake). My friend Dami, surprises me with a poke. It's always the best to start your day with a super-freindly face and conversation. Dami proceeds to tell me about her amazing weekend... there I was drooling over how much fun she had when our conversation was interjected from a voice behind us, "You know should greet right? You see an older woman, you are supposed to greet. It is still ok for people in your generation to do that."

Yes. You are as surprised as I am. First things first, we were waiting for the elevator and so engrossed in our 'gist' that we didn't even notice that anyone had walked in. This wasn't even a private room, it's a hallway, people are walking to and from elevators and doors. 

Second things second, I am a CHRONIC-GREETER. My colleagues know me for this and tell me to relax sometimes. I even add a little bow of the head when I greet, sometimes a curtsy too. I enter the elevator, "Good Morning", I walk past a lady in the hallway " Good Afternoon Ma", I walk across departments, "Good Evening Sir". So I was HURT, yes, hurt at this Lady's insinuation that I was rude. But it wasn't her fault, she doesn't know me or that I always greet. There are about 12 floors in CBN with 4 wings... She can't possibly know Ijeoma Madueke greets everyone she sees. But this one time when she 'interacted' with me so to say, I did not greet. 

It just sucks, you know, that you're always doing the right thing and it seems like no one is looking and when you do 'half' of a 'wrong' thing, there's someone there to point it out. In the past, it would have had me down for the day. Yes, I'm very concerned with how I am perceived. But now, I'm like 'whatever', I'll greet her next time. 

The same thing happens sometimes at home for me. I always do the right thing and then one time, I forget to close the tap in the kitchen well and that's when my mum walks in and says, "You NEVER shut the tap well" Never? Come on! It was just this ones. 

Don't we like this as humans though? To feel like the victims? Seek pity? I ain't ashamed! Pity Me jo! And have some encouraging words. :-)

Onto other things, in my DIY-nature, I turned one of my scarves into a necklace. Easy-Peezy Lemon-Squeezy!

It's the beginning of a New Week and almost the END of a Month, So raise your glasses to cordial ends and refreshing beginnings (No subliminal message here)

Peace and Love!

Yours Truantly,
IJ

Whose Life is it anyway?

So we're finished dinner (that I prepared_ Thank you *curtsies and bows*) last night and are now sittting drinking some red wine discussing my future plans. My dad agrees that after my Master's I should get some foreign work experience before returning to Nigeria finally. He goes, "Yes o! You should find employment in both aspects of your life" *pause*. It takes me about 5 seconds to understand what he meant but his stifled grin gave him up. Then of course we entered into a play fight of "Daddy now!", and hitting his arm. If you still don't know what I'm talking about, then you are definitely not IN Nigeria or SURROUNDED by NIGERIAN adults.

Somehow the topic of marriage is on the fore front of everyone's mind. Each time I list out my plans for the future I always get asked why I didn't make plans for marriage. Maybe it's because I don't believe marriage can be likened to a career that you plot on a timeline. Granted, the biological clock is ticking but it's not a minute and hour hand on the face of the clock.

One of my colleagues at work even said "Ah! The 'bobo' will not wait o!" LOL! Who even told him there was a bobo sef??

I read on Twitter a couple of days ago that once a girl is over 25, if she's not in a serious relationship, she is damaged goods. I have just one question: Where do people get these things from?

I'm a firm believer in Preparation; In this case, I want to build a career and persona that my Husband and Children will be proud of. I know I was beyond proud of my own mum growing up and she married when she was about 27. We all turned out good. What's the hurry anyways?

I asked and someone said that, people want to be able to enjoy having their family and doing things together and GROWING with their family. Fair Enough! I honestly blame this new wave of young people marrying. Bella Naija constant wedding updates et al. Y'all are making life hard for the rest of us. Relax will you?

What do you think though?

What's the cause of the Nigerian obsession with Marriage?

I'm all about Lipstick and Nail Polish in Nigeria as a way to define my style. I stay away from Powder everyday because the heat makes it unrealistic to PAINT your face if pictures are not being taken (no vanity intended)

Here's to a safe, productive week!

Yours Truantly,
IJ

NYSC Chronicles: Part 1

Otondo Corper! This is just one of the million words you hear at NYSC.
What an experience!

I must now say that I understand why people for fightring for NYSC to NOT be scrapped. It's the easiest and fastest way to integrate the young people from different parts of Nigeria. I must say though that everything I took to camp, I LEFT there! Oh the filth!! *cringe*. I kind of got used it though which is very and because there's a CAMP SMELL! You don't notice till you leave and return. It's like firewood and sweat and some other foul-smelling ingredients. Perfume is ESSENTIAL!

Where to start??

We got into the camp and were led to a backyard with stacks of "matresses", if you could them that. These things were ripped and practically flat pieces of foam and they say pick one! Only ONE? Even if you picked 3 of them, you won't have an actually mattress. We were led to female hostels, there were about 100 people per room! If you're claustrophobic, Fall Back! Ifeoma and I with a newly acquired friend and spotted a filthy room that didn't seem like a hostel with a hole in the wall (i.e. no window) and got someone to sweep and mop it. I got a plank from the "forest" to close the 'window'. We ended up with a 5-woman room where 3 of us were from Loyola and 2 newcomers who were amazing. Locking our door was easy because we just shared keys. Our room ended up being called the VIP room.

Luckily, we were "smack" beside a really interesting hostel. The things these girls talked about. My blog is PG so i shall not go into it. Let's just say that they were very graphic. One night the ladies even had a fight because they both had the hots for a fella at camp. It was a loud fight with one even saying the other will never ever have sex because she was OLD and FAT O_o. Yes! Zero sensitivity in Nigeria! I can't deal!

The Precarious Bunk

Back to the first day, We paid paid N1500 to get a rickety bunk brought into our room. Some boys had stolen and hidden these "free" bunks and were charging us to have them delivered to our hostels. From the first day, Ifeoma and I copped two little girls as helpers who also happened to be sisters.  As the mosquito net was bring installed on the upper bunk while Ifeoma sat on the lower one, I heard a huge "BANG", the bun k had dropped on her., That was the scariest split-second of my life. I though she'd been crushed. What a way to start camp! he was fine but the boy installing it ran away! sigh To explain how precarious these bunk are, as Ifeoma slept on the upper and Me on the lower where my friend Wendy joined me, when anyone so much as sneezed, bed shakes! we couldnt even turn around int he bed without putting oour safety as risk. Let's say I learned to sleep still.

That night, we took our bath under the moonlight and while it was ridiculous, it was pretty refreshing. It was a closed space in the deep of the girls' hostels, so all you have to get used to is having other naked females around you. Since I went to boarding school, this wasn't new.

The NYSC market also has a very active market. I see why people are against shutting down NYSC, it is a major economic boost. Unparalleled. Prices are inflated because you have no other choice. Extremely high supplier power. On a scale of  1- 5, supplier power is 7! lol! It's actually unreal.
 I swear it can be used an an exampleevery economics topic; Oligopoly, Monopoly, Price Competition, Supply and Demand, Law of Diminishing Returns, Advertising strategies, NAME IT! We even have people selling IMAN, MaryKay and all other good brands of make-up. I couldn't understand.

What I also couldn't understand was how females had the HEART to put on make up at 3am. Yes! That's the rising time to go out for Morning activities, marching and exercise. You can try to escape like we often did but the ay we were caught, sigh. Let us just say a bucket of water became friendly with our mattresses. And ifeoma was called a witch because she was really light-skinned! Please don't ask! Anyways, I don't know how these girls were able to at such an ungodly hour, put on eye shadow and liner and lipstick. Everything. I assume the HUNT for a spouse was very pressing as camp is apparently where spouses are met! I'm not surprised. All those young people imprisoned for 3 weeks. Magic MUST happen and it did. But that's a tale for another day!

All-white everything. I may never wear white again

I hope your eyes aren't as tired as my fingers are. There's more to come!

God Bless you all and if you are in Nigeria, HAPPY PUBLIC HOLIDAY! lol

Yours Truantly,
Ij

...One of those days

You know some days begin horribly and progressively get worse.  Yes! I had one last week and I have come to one conclusion.

Nigeria is not for the faint-hearted

First off, Abuja is hot! Boiling... Even if I sit really still, the sweating doesn't stop. Don't go on about using an Air Conditioner. In the really hot days, it doesn't cool for jack!! I can't deal. So... it was on one of those days I entered my car and drove to the Bank hoping to withdraw money from my NYSC "allowee" account. Somehow, the account was inactive so I strolled in and asks for it to be activated. The lady said it wasn't possible at that branch and I'd have to drive half across town to get it activated. So senseless! How can it only be possible to activate an account from ONE branch. Let's say I was pissed off and proceeded to accomplish my next task for the day.

I zoomed past a traffic light that was off and saw that some police men were stopping me! Apparently I'd beaten the light! The DAMN thing was off but I guess as I have come to realize now, Nigerians know that OFF is a signal for RED! How the hell am I to know that? I'm used to the REAL traffic lights where RED was RED. Anyways the dude gets into my car and then says I'll have to sit and listen to a 30-minute lecture and then pay N9000. I had so much to do that this was something I couldn't even deal with. And it was HOT! Really HOT! Somehow my mum was in the area and saw the entire thing! God Bless her for knowing my car. She INSTRUCTED the police man to let me go and explained that I was New in town, she goes "Can't you see how they look? They're still here". Let's just say that that was it! And I was free!

As I was running on Empty,  I drove the gas station to get some petrol. And somehow there was a long queue all the way onto the road. There I sat with my Ifie and we both feel and hear a loud BANG! Somehow had hit us while we were stationary in the queue. Before i could even risk getting out of the car, the Green Taxi had sped off. I took a deep breath and sat in the car hoping to get out of the car! Next thing, we heard and felt again BANG! Another taxi had hit us and run off! Sigh! I've never felt so helpless in my life. I couldn't even react.

I drove home, got into bed and slept till the next day! DEFEATED.
It's another day in Abuja, Another day in Nigeria and I am back and ready to start the new week!

I thought my hair will change to the slick style most Nigerian ladies rock, but somehow, I'm still a bit far from it! Let's see how that goes!

Stay Tuned for the NYSC Posts! Finally! Especially if you're trying to join the next batch! it's pretty detailed!

Love and Nigerian Hospitality,
Yours Truantly,
Ij