Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Reality.....CHECK!

Labour Day Weekend was ridiculous, in a good way. I went to New York and in all my trips to the concrete jungle, I have not had this much fun. The entire trip felt like I was having an out-of-body experience and I don't think I have fully recovered. Let's just say that sleep wasn't in my schedule! lol


I met a blogger this weekend and NO, i will not tell you who! I screamed when she told me who she was. Too cool! So lovely meeting you. #YouKnowWhoYouAre!


I bumped into a million a lot of people from my secondary school, Loyola Jesuit College. We are like flies, we flock everywhere we go. It was amazing seeing people I hadn't in about 8 years. Meeting their own friends was also amazing. I always thought I had engouh friends but boy was I wrong. I met sooooo many amazing people this weekend. After years of TRYING NOT TO make friends, I cracked. I must have introduced myself to every single new person I met and ended up meeting those who read my blog. *blush* Mini-celebrity alert! haha!
Let's just say my circle has gotten bigger and I'm down to increase it a whole lot more. 


So... besides the fun, something weird happened. Amidst the gathering of different Nigerians, the usual 'best school'  argument began. Given that Loyola alumni were the majority, we were solid. My school is such a close knit family I'm very proud of it. 

There were many side arguments going on and I was just lost in the moment, enjoying the experience till someone said ' At least 60 students from my school don't just die in a plane crash' and when someone derided her she said "What? It's been 10 yrs, get over it'

If your heart stopped, then you are human! Even thinking about it, I am so shocked at how insensitive the statement was. 
First off, it hasn't been 10 yrs it has been 5 years, 6 in a few month. Secondly, my friend who lost his sister and my baby Hadiza was there. No Loyola person heard the comment, I barely did given that I wasn`t even in the girl`s conversation. I did not even process what she said till I got into a cab to go home. And then her comment came crashing on me, along with Guilt. Guilt that I did not stand up for 60 people that I knew. For people who lost loved ones in the crash and for my baby Hadiza.
This post is not to seek sympathy; I just need advice on what I should have done. I am a very retrospective person and need to know how to react to the same situation in the future. 
  • Could I have not said anything because I was processing?
  • Or should I blame my conflict aversion which up until now was a good thing?
  • Maybe I chucked it up the girl being drunk which she may not have been?
  • Maybe I didn't want to end a perfect night badly.
Whatever the case, I messed up bad. Now, I feel like I've betrayed Hadiza and the other 59 angels. And even Kechi the survivor. You don't get over losing someone. It is not something to joke about. I'm even more angry now so I better relax... whoosah! I'm not saying the name of the person 'cause tbh, I don't remember. But I remember her face.
So I'm genuinely just asking for advice on what to do not just if someone says something of this nature but also to step out of my need to be diplomatic and begin a confrontation if it is necessary. I am not a fighter or an aggressor and till now, I thought that was a perfect state of being.
My ears are open and my mind is ready to rationalize. So... LEHGOOOOO!





Yours Truantly,
Ij


13 comments:

mizchif said...

Nice one. Why do i feel like this post is lacking pictures? I mean it was a 3 day weekend in the big apple, camman!

About the statement that somebody made, i guess different people have different levels of common sense and sensitivity, but it's past, so deep breath and let it go.

Oh and you already know QC girls are the bestest so no need to argue or debate. lol.

Isn't meeting amazingly cool bloggers fun? I'm sure you were star struck, LMAO!

mizchif said...

Oh and P.S , may i just say that the reason why i do not follow you on twitter is because you have a padlock. Maka why?

Fonzy said...

I'm sorry what?!!!

Who said that and where was I when it said such? Cuz at this point I can't refer to such as a person anymore.

You should have told me because best believe I would have fought somebody or at least put it in its place.

Big hug boo and to many more weekends

bob-ij said...

mizchif:::: haha! Many more pictures to come. iPromise! I just had to break them up...looool. **watch this space** hehe! As for the comment. I intend to, well at least try to! And oh yes!!iwas EXTREMELY STARSTRUCK! hahaha! And yes o! i have to protect my tweets. Send me a request and I shall accept and follow right back! loool :-D

Fonzy! You were there oh! I won't tell you before you box her! haha! lol @ "it". haha!! you're ridiculous! And hug back! I have to return to new york oh! Too epic for words!! lol

~x~

DAV!D said...

Girlllll, that was an insensitive comment, period!
If you ask me, I'll blame a bit on conflict aversion (even though in fairness to you I think shock may have held you back). All in all, I don't think you should feel guilty. You're standing up for all 60 of them and then some.

Please show me the babe's pic when next we meet. Going to put her on my 'Watched items' list like on eBay. LOL. I'm serious though.

~Sirius~ said...

Ijeoma+NewYork= A photo album. You scored 0 on this note.

As for the comment- somehow your unconscious silence was the best

Muse Origins said...

Glad you had fun. Since you feel you should have said something, then you should have said something. That was quiet insensitive of them SMH

Adiya
Muse Origins Features
Muse Origins

Sugabelly said...

Please tell me you dragged the bitch out and beat her down.

God, if I was there, you would have had to call the police.

Really?

bob-ij said...

Eni! I swear I kept thinking that afterwards. That if I had half your spirit I would have reacted faster and really broken things down.And you are so right. My conflict aversion played a crucial role in my lack of a response. I am standing up for them everyday! I just hope I do a better job of it. As for her identity, I can't. Lol. Don't want to stigmatize her.

Sirius::; you and mizchif!! Lol! I will put up more. Didnt want to dilute this post. Lol. *watch this space**

Replying comments from an iPhone is spool tasking

Myne Whitman said...

I'm reading this late but I still had to comment. Honestly, that's such an insensitive comment. Get over it? Come on! If I were you and I see the girl again, I'll def mention it.

Legally Present said...

I'm sorry WHAT ?! ... that is a "NEVER" comment and I applaud you for keeping silent. Some people just aren't worth anything talk less of words.

Great pictures ! I can't believe @fonzy didn't drag me to this suya ahem I mean baby shower. + Yvonne looks amazing!

bob-ij said...

Myne::: Thanks for the input. That's what I want to do but I can't even find her name!

LegallyPresent::: lol! Thanks miss! I don't know if it's respect that I deserve but I'll take it all the same. As for the suya ummm baby shower, don't mind her. She wanted to have ALL to herself! lool

~x~

Anonymous said...

Let's for a minute forget that I am like 1 year behind post.....
That was a very insensitive comment to make.....Wrong on all counts!!!
I don't know what I'ld have done o, but I am sure I would have said one or two things for her to muse over!

I can imagine that the shock of "did she just really say that" might have delayed your processing and response time BUT if you are able to catch such soon enough again, MAKE SURE to say a thing or two. Don't get physical. Just words...cos some people really need to know better!


HoneyDame
honeydame1.blogspot.com