Sunday, February 5, 2012

NYSC Chronicles: Part 1

Otondo Corper! This is just one of the million words you hear at NYSC.
What an experience!

I must now say that I understand why people for fightring for NYSC to NOT be scrapped. It's the easiest and fastest way to integrate the young people from different parts of Nigeria. I must say though that everything I took to camp, I LEFT there! Oh the filth!! *cringe*. I kind of got used it though which is very and because there's a CAMP SMELL! You don't notice till you leave and return. It's like firewood and sweat and some other foul-smelling ingredients. Perfume is ESSENTIAL!

Where to start??

We got into the camp and were led to a backyard with stacks of "matresses", if you could them that. These things were ripped and practically flat pieces of foam and they say pick one! Only ONE? Even if you picked 3 of them, you won't have an actually mattress. We were led to female hostels, there were about 100 people per room! If you're claustrophobic, Fall Back! Ifeoma and I with a newly acquired friend and spotted a filthy room that didn't seem like a hostel with a hole in the wall (i.e. no window) and got someone to sweep and mop it. I got a plank from the "forest" to close the 'window'. We ended up with a 5-woman room where 3 of us were from Loyola and 2 newcomers who were amazing. Locking our door was easy because we just shared keys. Our room ended up being called the VIP room.

Luckily, we were "smack" beside a really interesting hostel. The things these girls talked about. My blog is PG so i shall not go into it. Let's just say that they were very graphic. One night the ladies even had a fight because they both had the hots for a fella at camp. It was a loud fight with one even saying the other will never ever have sex because she was OLD and FAT O_o. Yes! Zero sensitivity in Nigeria! I can't deal!

The Precarious Bunk
Back to the first day, We paid paid N1500 to get a rickety bunk brought into our room. Some boys had stolen and hidden these "free" bunks and were charging us to have them delivered to our hostels. From the first day, Ifeoma and I copped two little girls as helpers who also happened to be sisters.  As the mosquito net was bring installed on the upper bunk while Ifeoma sat on the lower one, I heard a huge "BANG", the bun k had dropped on her., That was the scariest split-second of my life. I though she'd been crushed. What a way to start camp! he was fine but the boy installing it ran away! sigh To explain how precarious these bunk are, as Ifeoma slept on the upper and Me on the lower where my friend Wendy joined me, when anyone so much as sneezed, bed shakes! we couldnt even turn around int he bed without putting oour safety as risk. Let's say I learned to sleep still.

That night, we took our bath under the moonlight and while it was ridiculous, it was pretty refreshing. It was a closed space in the deep of the girls' hostels, so all you have to get used to is having other naked females around you. Since I went to boarding school, this wasn't new.

The NYSC market also has a very active market. I see why people are against shutting down NYSC, it is a major economic boost. Unparalleled. Prices are inflated because you have no other choice. Extremely high supplier power. On a scale of  1- 5, supplier power is 7! lol! It's actually unreal.
 I swear it can be used an an exampleevery economics topic; Oligopoly, Monopoly, Price Competition, Supply and Demand, Law of Diminishing Returns, Advertising strategies, NAME IT! We even have people selling IMAN, MaryKay and all other good brands of make-up. I couldn't understand.

What I also couldn't understand was how females had the HEART to put on make up at 3am. Yes! That's the rising time to go out for Morning activities, marching and exercise. You can try to escape like we often did but the ay we were caught, sigh. Let us just say a bucket of water became friendly with our mattresses. And ifeoma was called a witch because she was really light-skinned! Please don't ask! Anyways, I don't know how these girls were able to at such an ungodly hour, put on eye shadow and liner and lipstick. Everything. I assume the HUNT for a spouse was very pressing as camp is apparently where spouses are met! I'm not surprised. All those young people imprisoned for 3 weeks. Magic MUST happen and it did. But that's a tale for another day!
All-white everything. I may never wear white again

I hope your eyes aren't as tired as my fingers are. There's more to come!

God Bless you all and if you are in Nigeria, HAPPY PUBLIC HOLIDAY! lol

Yours Truantly,


Yuki said...

lol@ the makeup.. when I was in camp, I wondered thesame thing o. It was amazing ,5 am people come out looking ernmm I reserve my comments lol.

well at least you were lucky to find a nicer space ... :) thanks for sharing the pics and story .....

HoneyDame said...

LMAoo!!!YOu are fast becoming my new best bloggieeee! I have no idea how much I was actually anticipating this post..:O. By the way, is it really true that there will be no more posting to urban areas?! That ain't pure o!
Makeup @3am?! Jesox! I just love Nigerians.....only them! smh...

The picture with bottles of initially thought they were bottles of eyes popped and I was about hailing you people...

Thanks for doing this, ie, blogging about it

Anonymous said...

I love it! Pls can you do a post on how you applied for NYSC, the process, posting, e.t.c

bob-ij said...

Yuki::: imagine! Some girl was actually called out by a platoon officer for putting on make-up without faking a shower. Her blush reached her toes. Loool! Dpnt reserve your comments o! Heaven knows the lack of sufficient lighting created some clowns. Haha! Not a problem love.

HoneyDame::: wooop! *Blush* thanks love! I heard that as well tbh. It is apparently to develop those rural areas. It starts in 2013 though so if you can do yours now, jump on it!!! Lol! I won't lie, I tasted beer and a few other things *hides face* part of e experience. But those boys drank beer all the way from 7am o! Drunk by noon

Anon:::: I have a post on the application. I'll link it to you. As for the posting, not a problem. Will do!


~Sirius~ said...

Hahahahahaha........ These camp stories are the same, year in year out. The hustling, the extreme managing of terrible living condition,, lol. And thoe chics and their makeup!!!! I just couldnt wrap my head around them.

It's funny when it's all over. You sit and think- never again. The one time memory is good enough

Myne Whitman said...

This took me way back, lol.. you're right. For girls with no steady BFs camp is THE place to land that fiancee...

Kween said...

loool, camp seems hectic, but fun(the actual definition of naij).
make up at 3am- all in the name of boy???
3am waking up reminds me of man o war.*shudder*cud dis be part 2?
keep the camp stories cmin!!really appreciate it.
am thinkin of doin mine dis yr.

Anonymous said...

Funny post. so are you done with camp? when do you start work

Sugabelly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bob-ij said...

Sirius::: Good to know that there's at least a fraction of uniformity in the chaos! Lol! The babes are NOT playing. And I agree. It was an amazing experience but it's a once in a lifetime kind of thing.

Myne::: how long ago did you do yours?

bob-ij said...

Kween::: camp is Man O war to the power 100. Man O war with freedom, alcohol, strangers and people with character. That's the idea! To give everyone an idea of what to expect so you're better prepared!

Anon::: I started work already at the CBN!

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